Do you grieve lost fish?

h2oh

h2oh

Small Fish
#1
Sep 7, 2008
13
0
0
Seattle, WA
#1
I'm new to the hobby, and only have one fish (building it up gradually as I started with a semi-aggressive). I've been doing tons of research on websites and forums alike, and what I've noticed is that the loss of a fish or two (or MORE) doesn't seem to phase most people.

Does this come with experience in the hobby and losing fish after fish trying to experiment, or am I silly to think of how devastated I would be if my little guy went belly up? Because honestly, I fail to see how a person could put so much money and care and monitoring into an animal and then not blink an eye when it died.
 

jo3olous

jo3olous

Large Fish
#2
Aug 6, 2008
909
1
0
Philadelphia, PA
#2
it depends. If the fish is expensive, then hell yea! lol ~ also the history and relationship you build with your fish. If you had a fish for years then it dies, that's pretty sad. If you get a fish and it dies in a week/month, then it's like oh well gotta replace him and figure out what went wrong. It's been about 2 months for me and I'm attached to mine. They all come out of hiding and swim up whenever I approach the tank (must think its feeding time). And the loach/Red tail like showing off when other people come into my room. So I kind of feel like I have a connection with them, you know?
 

AlyKat

AlyKat

Large Fish
#3
Aug 3, 2007
255
0
0
New York
#3
jo3olous said:
the history and relationship you build with your fish. If you had a fish for years then it dies, that's pretty sad. If you get a fish and it dies in a week/month, then it's like oh well gotta replace him and figure out what went wrong.
Click to expand...
I totally agree with this...when I lost Sharkey and Lobster I was REALLY sad...but like all these cardinal tetras I've lost this week, yeah, I'm kinda bummed, but I'm not gonna plan funerals or anything...

Just lost my betta last week after almost 7 years...I was pretty sad that day too... :(
He was the first betta I ever had...and definitely won't be the last...got a new one already...same colors, but a crowntail this time...he's pretty :)
 

jo3olous

jo3olous

Large Fish
#4
Aug 6, 2008
909
1
0
Philadelphia, PA
#4
Bettas are pretty cool, I used to love them when I was a kid. I'm thinking of getting a 5G and putting one in it for my desk @ work, although I work from home frequently hmmm... Any how, don't know where I'd get one from because the bettas seem to be the one fish that look absolutely miserable @ petsmart. They have them in those tiny plastic 'pee' cups and their fins are all wrinkled matted to the bottom of the cup, SO SAD.
 

h2oh

h2oh

Small Fish
#6
Sep 7, 2008
13
0
0
Seattle, WA
#6
I had a couple bettas growing up, too. In the future I will probably have another....

Don't they need at least 1gal? How can PetSmart get away with that?
 

C

Cichlid-Man

MFT Staff
#7
Jul 9, 2003
8,866
14
38
38
Columbia, SC
www.youtube.com
#7
It strikes a nerve knowing about the money. And that the situation is not going your way. How much i "grieve" depends on how much the fish cost me to start, and how much effort i put into them.

For example. If one of my discus that is in my "breeding program" died, i'd be mad and down about it. If one of my young yellow labs kicked the bucket, eh sucks but oh well lost a fish.
 

DesignsOnYou

DesignsOnYou

Large Fish
#11
Jun 21, 2008
493
0
0
#11
That funeral was great. Also, to h20h, I agree with what most people are saying. It depends on how much they cost, but also to how long they've been in the tank and how much personality they have. I've had 3 blue rams kick the bucket, but the one that lasted the longest still was in there for less than 3 days. So, I was annoyed, and trying not to feel guilty for killing fish, but not really devastated. They're finicky, and I figured with them not lasting too long, it wasn't entirely my fault. Sometimes fish die. Also, on a side note, I looked up your featherfin cat, and it seems that he will definitely outgrow your tank. Your first thread mentions stocking slowly, so I'm nervous that you're going to put more fish in there. His maximum size seems to be 6" to 8" and his minimum tank size is about 40 to 50 gallons. So, if you have him, plus other fish, you're going to run out of room in your 12 gallon fast, especially with semi-aggressive. Just my two cents.
 

Orion

Orion

Ultimate Fish
Moderator
#13
Feb 10, 2003
5,803
3
38
Kentucky
www.thefishcave.net
#13
Some cichlids are very long lived, and extremely aware of things that go on outside the tank. These 'wet pets' can become attached to their owners, and the owners to them. It's like having a dog or cat with fins that you don't have to clean up poo. (In a manner of speaking). When I gave up my Oscar to a good LFS because I could no longer care for it the way it needed to be, I was sad. But I found out just a few days later a guy came in who had a 220 gallon and his oscar just died from old age and he was looking for another one. So in the end, it worked out very well.

People can get very attached to their pets. It just seems not much so with fish because they aren't quite as cuddly as other critters.

For me, the price I pay is just the amount of anger I feel upon discovering a death. The more $$ the more mad I get. To actually 'feel' something, I have to keep a fish for a long time. Right now I guess you could say I've only got two fish that I 'care' for just because they've been around the block with me so much. I would be upset if either of them died.
 

jediinthedark

jediinthedark

Large Fish
#14
May 5, 2004
645
0
0
Baltimore, MD
www.BreakingTheDark.com
#14
Big Vine

Big Vine

Elite Fish
#15
Feb 7, 2006
3,895
9
0
47
Florida
#15
I'll be pretty bummed whenever I lose my oscar, Triton.
Losing my first ever blue crayfish ('Jericho') was kind of a bummer too, but not nearly as much as losing my oscar will be...:eek:
BV
 

TAL

TAL

Large Fish
#16
Sep 7, 2008
588
0
0
#16
We lost our first fish just over a month ago.

His name was Johnny. He was my 7 yr old's fish.

He was cool looking and was a silvery white with red and blue stripes.

Very stubborn personality and a one track mind.

The whole family was present for his service. He brought alot to our family and he is sorely missed.

It was a great teaching point for the kids too. But alas he is in that big aquarium in the sky now...

Good bye Johhny
 

brian1973

brian1973

Superstar Fish
#17
Jan 20, 2008
2,001
3
38
Corpus Christi, Texas
#17
Cichlid-Man said:
It strikes a nerve knowing about the money. And that the situation is not going your way. How much i "grieve" depends on how much the fish cost me to start, and how much effort i put into them.

For example. If one of my discus that is in my "breeding program" died, i'd be mad and down about it. If one of my young yellow labs kicked the bucket, eh sucks but oh well lost a fish.
Click to expand...
Totally agree here..and with the money vs relationship built over time.

What gets me is you will read thru this and other forums with folks posting about how sad they are then less than an hr later they are posting wanting to know what to add to their newly empty tank, if your looking to replace your loss within an hour then you really didnt have that much of a connection IMO.
 

Lotus

Lotus

Ultimate Fish
Moderator
#18
Aug 26, 2003
15,115
13
38
Southern California
home.earthlink.net
#18
How unhappy I am about a fish death depends on the personality of the fish. When I had clown loaches or gobies die, I've been fairly upset. If an Endler leaps out of the tank, I don't think twice about it (plus, I've had thousands of them through my tanks). Dead fry are kind of sad, too.

The cost of the fish has very little to do with it for me. I don't have anything that I've paid more than about $40 for, so no major monetary losses are really possible.
 

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